5 down 5 to go

Last night was the 5th Finding Om class, making this this official midpoint of the program. Two dropouts so far, bringing my n (sample size) down to 11. Not very powerful but still in the range of other pilot studies.

The post-asana discussion group was rocking. I was thrilled to hear participants actually talking about becoming more mindful of their lives, their eating, and their habits in general. It was incredible to hear some of the concepts I have introduced through meditations and discussion topics being restated in people's own words. This is so gratifying-- it is working! It is sinking in! It is making a difference for people! People are incorporating changes they have learned from yoga, choosing to honor their bodies, not just abuse them to prove their unworthiness to the world.

Judaism teaches that if you save one life it is as if you have saved the whole world. This is a really important lesson for me to remember as a psychotherapist, since the results are so nebulous. As I have stated before, even if my results are not statitstically significant-- and I hope they are-- I can feel good about having made a difference for at least one person.

Too bad that person still doesn't seem to be me. I woke up today feeling bloated and fat and of course began judging myself as a terrible unworthy person because of it. If only my participants knew how much I mean it when I tell them I empathize with how hard the journey is. I struggle every day to honor myself rather than prove my unworthiness.