The Circle of (my) life

Yesterday I ended my post saying life is good. And it is. So why does my day start on such a sour note when my scale reads 2 pounds higher than I'd like it to? And why are those 2 pounds hanging around, despite my newly cleaned up eating habits?

Finding Om will ride again

My new supervisor, JL, has asked me to come up with a proposal for a one-day Finding Om seminar, which could be expanded into a multiple-session class if there is sufficient interest. Yaay!

This week the weather is freakishly warm. Too bad I'm cooped up in this office instead of outside raking my leaves. I love my internship so far, but I like being outdoors more than almost anything. I did get out and run with Scoop yesterday and today before coming in to work, which was such an incredible pleasure.

Life is good, isn't it?

High on the Confusion. Low on Wisdom.

It is pretty basic knowledge that when every fiber of your being is screaming at you to take a break and not work out because you are exhausted and unmotivated, you should probably listen or your body will make itself heard in other ways. I forgot to listen.

Friday I was running with the kids-- just goofing around, racing to the supermarket door-- and I fell, ripping open my hand badly enough that my dermatologist friend said it could use stitches "if there were any skin left." That sounds more dramatic than it is, but it ain't pretty. Then Saturday I ran 6 miles that felt like 100 and my knees were killing me, which is unusual. Sunday I was dragging ass and really wanted to take the day off but went to hot yoga instead.
Monday I went to the gym and injured myself. I'm not quite sure what I did but I was moving the bar down on the squat rack and felt a teeny little pop in my right wrist. Now my wrist hurts and is all swollen and hard to move. No way I can do yoga-- I tried a down dog, which was okay but chatturanga-- fuggetaboudit.

Crap crap crap. Why didn't I just take a stupid day off? At least the weather is supposed to be nice this week so I can get out and run.

And on the plus side, I am really liking my internship so far. I just (clearly) am still working on finding that balance. Well, my mashed up hand and the pain in my wrist will help with that for a few days, anyway.

Running in the snow

I did it-- I went out for a run anyway this morning. Snow, ice, wind and mud made a 45 minute run into an hour run but I had a great time, despite falling twice.

Also had a great time in substance abuse relapse prevention group. No kidding. This has been an all-star day.

First snow

I moved to Colorado Springs in 1997 and every year it has snowed before Halloween. This year, as of last night, is no exception. I woke up to a lovely blanket of white-- on roofs and lawns, not yet sticking to roads and sidewalks. I don't have to be at internship until 10am today and was all excited to go for a nice mellow run in the snow. The howling wind kind of killed that buzz. I hate running in any wind, let alone a wet cold one.

Internship is going well. I led my first group on Monday, second group tonight and I see my first client today. As with anything it is starting slowly but that's a good thing right now. I have a feeling I'll be pretty overwhelmed. Which is why I built my beloved Kundalini class into my standing Wednesday schedule. Clever, no? Especially on a night I have to work until 8pm.

I did a Mitzvah

Today I guided a blind runner in the Denver half marathon. It is a great race and it was a lot of fun. We finished in 2:11, which was 11 minutes after Bruce's ideal goal but 19 before what he would have been satisfied with (2:30). Saw lots of runners I know and everyone was cheering for us and I was happy that people I know saw me guiding Bruce. I am struggling a little with the feeling of being happy that people I know saw me. This was supposed to be a selfless act, an act that was gratifying in and of itself. And it was. So why do I feel I need kudos?

After the run I drank way too much beer before 12 noon at the Lefthand Brewing company tent which was sponsored by the Colorado Chapter of the American Council for the Blind. Basically any amount of beer before noon is too much, but it was a special occasion. Or at least that was my justification. Now it is 8 pm and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Tomorrow starts my first full week of internship. I am nervous and worried that my current exhaustion is just a prelude of things to come. I am going to give myself this week to get adjusted-- don't have to freak out about workouts or having a clean house or perfect meas or anything, just start getting into a schedule and see how it goes. Or at least that's my idea.

10 hours down, 1,990 to go

This internship business is going to be a longer road than I thought. The state of Colorado requires a 1500 hour pre-doctoral internship. The one I have accepted and which I began yesterday requires 2000 hours. How I missed this rather important detail until today is something of a mystery, but suddenly I have to work 500 more hours than I thought. HARSH.

That said, I think this is going to be a really good experience. Tiring, no doubt stressful, but a good experience nonetheless. JL, my supervisor, was open to my ideas about yoga therapy. He even suggested the possibility of running some sort of Finding Om-like group on a Saturday. Cool! We are literally right next to a yoga studio and I know one of the instructors so this may not be too difficult to orchestrate. But I don't want to get ahead of myself...

Next week I begin to see clients, go to staff meetings, get supervision, sit in on a few assessments and possibly accompany someone to court. I will also begin leading groups on Monday and Wednesday evenings from 6-8pm. I am a co-leader, so the first few times it's fine if I just hang out and get an idea of the way things work, which I think I will. Both. Hang out and get an idea.

I have a feeling that I'll be exhausted by the end of next week. But I'll have knocked out another 40 hours!

But before all that I guide Bruce the Blind Runner in the Denver Half Marathon, which is this Sunday.