Today is a bad day to ask how I am doing. I have been feeling really shitty about myself and as if I have gotten out of touch with good nutrition. I know what good eating is and in general I don't eat lots of junk but I think I'm eating too much for what my body needs right now, maybe not enough protien and no doubt too much sugar. Maybe too many carbs. Or not enough. Whatever it is, something just doesn't feel right. I have also been (for about the last year) weighing myself 2-3 times a day and writing down everything I eat. Anyway, a week ago I went to a nutritionist who asked me to only weigh myself once a week and to not write down my eating. I ate really well for the first few days after that but the last 2 days I was feeling very premenstrual and gave in to every craving I had. Today I woke up feeling bloated and as if my face looks like an entrant in the Macy's Day Parade. So what did I do? Try on my tightest pair of jeans and weigh myself of course (not with the jeans on, duh). Weight: WAY too high-- higher than it's been in a long, long time. Jeans: too tight. Another duh.
I see the nutritionist again tomorrow and she is going to give me a meal plan. We'll see how that goes.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Finding Om: Live at SYTAR
Months ago I submitted an abstract of my Finding Om study for presentation at STYAR, the international Symposium on Yoga Therapy and Research in LA in early March. And yesterday I found out it got accepted! Hooray! Major exposure to a population who cares. Networking! Interest! Possible connections for future research! I am so, so excited.
I'm not sure whether it is a poster or oral presentation. I hope, hope, hope it is oral, because my arts and crafts skills are sorely lacking and I'd hate to have a sucky poster. But still...
In other news making yesterday a banner day, I ran 6.2 on the treadmill. Perceived exertion: high. Soreness afterwards: marathon grade (for about 2 hours). Happiness: great. I'm back. And I didn't even pig out too badly after drinking too much celebratory wine later that night.
I'm not sure whether it is a poster or oral presentation. I hope, hope, hope it is oral, because my arts and crafts skills are sorely lacking and I'd hate to have a sucky poster. But still...
In other news making yesterday a banner day, I ran 6.2 on the treadmill. Perceived exertion: high. Soreness afterwards: marathon grade (for about 2 hours). Happiness: great. I'm back. And I didn't even pig out too badly after drinking too much celebratory wine later that night.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Sorry, I've got to run
Over the past week or so I have noticed a creeping level of depression taking over my mood. There have been no major changes and nothing bad has happened. In fact, I had a therapy session with one of my federal probationers which I think may have been the best session I ever did in my life.
Even so, I have been getting weepier and weepier over nothing, feeling more and more negative about myself (big time), eating more and more for no apparent reason, and having a hard time shaking it off. And it began to dawn on me that I used to feel like this a lot more before I started running. I haven't stopped exercising, still doing yoga and lifting and the elliptical and the stairmill but, as any runner knows, nothing substitutes for whatever it is that running does to your endorphins. I'm not talking about a runners high, since I don't usually get that from an average weekday run. I'm talking about general psychological maintenance.
I haven't run since I was rear-ended on Dec 5th and told by my chiropractor that I should take 6 weeks off. As of today I have taken off 5 weeks. I don't want to hurt my body but I also need to take care of my mental health. So I am meeting Scoop, my beloved running partner, at the YMCA this morning for a treadmill experiment.
There are 2 parts to this experiment. The first is an attempt to listen to my body, go slowly, and only go as far as my body keeps on feeling good. In theory this may mean 1/2 hour on the treadmill, finish up the hour on the much-less-jarring elliptical. What I would love is to do a full hour on the treadmill, keep it slow, but still manage to get in 6 miles.
The second part of this experiement is to not get triggered by however much faster than me Scoop may be going and fall into a competitive groove that could ultimately hurt me and make me take even more time off. I am not competitive against her in races but part of what makes us great training partners is that we push each other and try to keep up with each other in training. I just need to remember: all in good time, my dear. All in good time. Maybe I'll only be able to run a few miles at a time for a few weeks.
I don't mean to be overly dramatic either. I mean, Army Capt. David Rozelle got his leg blown off in Iraq and ran the NYC marathon 6 months later. Although I have no idea what his chiropractor might have had to say about that, he went on to do the Ironman, so I guess he's okay.
So it's official. As of today, in one way or another, I'm back.
Even so, I have been getting weepier and weepier over nothing, feeling more and more negative about myself (big time), eating more and more for no apparent reason, and having a hard time shaking it off. And it began to dawn on me that I used to feel like this a lot more before I started running. I haven't stopped exercising, still doing yoga and lifting and the elliptical and the stairmill but, as any runner knows, nothing substitutes for whatever it is that running does to your endorphins. I'm not talking about a runners high, since I don't usually get that from an average weekday run. I'm talking about general psychological maintenance.
I haven't run since I was rear-ended on Dec 5th and told by my chiropractor that I should take 6 weeks off. As of today I have taken off 5 weeks. I don't want to hurt my body but I also need to take care of my mental health. So I am meeting Scoop, my beloved running partner, at the YMCA this morning for a treadmill experiment.
There are 2 parts to this experiment. The first is an attempt to listen to my body, go slowly, and only go as far as my body keeps on feeling good. In theory this may mean 1/2 hour on the treadmill, finish up the hour on the much-less-jarring elliptical. What I would love is to do a full hour on the treadmill, keep it slow, but still manage to get in 6 miles.
The second part of this experiement is to not get triggered by however much faster than me Scoop may be going and fall into a competitive groove that could ultimately hurt me and make me take even more time off. I am not competitive against her in races but part of what makes us great training partners is that we push each other and try to keep up with each other in training. I just need to remember: all in good time, my dear. All in good time. Maybe I'll only be able to run a few miles at a time for a few weeks.
I don't mean to be overly dramatic either. I mean, Army Capt. David Rozelle got his leg blown off in Iraq and ran the NYC marathon 6 months later. Although I have no idea what his chiropractor might have had to say about that, he went on to do the Ironman, so I guess he's okay.
So it's official. As of today, in one way or another, I'm back.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I Cried... in Bikram!
Who ever heard of such a thing?
Possibly it was because 2 women who are a few years older than me and look fabulous were doing their thing in the front row (as usual) and I was looking kind of chubby in the back row. And I had on a crappy outfit.
Or maybe it was because my new fitness routine includes more weight lifting and less yoga and I was feeling particularly stiff. And my neck kind of hurt. Damn whiplash. A month and I'm still feeling it. I never realized how much you use your neck in Bikram.
Perhaps because I was so damn sweaty that no one would notice a few tears running down my face and I just needed a good cry. Who knows. But it certainly was unexpected.
I miss running like crazy. I think I'm going to run 3 miles on the treadmill in the basement on Tuesday morning before my boss and I take a field trip to the federal penitentiary. I've got big plans for the summer and I've got to get moving again.
I sure haven't blogged in a long time. I blame my internship. It is great but 9 hours a day is a lot of time to be busy. Despair not, dear readers. I shall return.
Possibly it was because 2 women who are a few years older than me and look fabulous were doing their thing in the front row (as usual) and I was looking kind of chubby in the back row. And I had on a crappy outfit.
Or maybe it was because my new fitness routine includes more weight lifting and less yoga and I was feeling particularly stiff. And my neck kind of hurt. Damn whiplash. A month and I'm still feeling it. I never realized how much you use your neck in Bikram.
Perhaps because I was so damn sweaty that no one would notice a few tears running down my face and I just needed a good cry. Who knows. But it certainly was unexpected.
I miss running like crazy. I think I'm going to run 3 miles on the treadmill in the basement on Tuesday morning before my boss and I take a field trip to the federal penitentiary. I've got big plans for the summer and I've got to get moving again.
I sure haven't blogged in a long time. I blame my internship. It is great but 9 hours a day is a lot of time to be busy. Despair not, dear readers. I shall return.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Whiplash sucks
So I officially have whiplash. At first I didn't really feel too bad and was minimizing the situation. My car is totalled and the guy who hit me's insurance is buying it from me and selling it to salvage. Guess there's no hope for that puppy.
But me? Heck. I'm strong. I can do 12 pullups in a row and bench press my own weight. I can run for an hour plus no problem-o. I do yoga 2-3 times a week. Me be hurt? Nah.
Wouldn't that be nice if it were the case. Reality is that almost two weeks later I feel worse than I did at first and am starting to take this more seriously. Yesterday while leading the evening DHS group it was all I could do not to lay down on the floor, as my back and neck were aching. I am temporarily not allowed (by my chiropractor) to run, lift or stand on my head. I have never done viparita karani so many times in my life as I have this past week. THIS SUCKS.
I hate being injured. I have always taken my health for granted and it is a hard lesson to have it pointed out to me in such a dramatic way. Thank God it is not cancer or anything of that ilk. But it still sucks. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I do wish it had never happened and that it would go away.
In the meantime, off the the elliptical... again.
But me? Heck. I'm strong. I can do 12 pullups in a row and bench press my own weight. I can run for an hour plus no problem-o. I do yoga 2-3 times a week. Me be hurt? Nah.
Wouldn't that be nice if it were the case. Reality is that almost two weeks later I feel worse than I did at first and am starting to take this more seriously. Yesterday while leading the evening DHS group it was all I could do not to lay down on the floor, as my back and neck were aching. I am temporarily not allowed (by my chiropractor) to run, lift or stand on my head. I have never done viparita karani so many times in my life as I have this past week. THIS SUCKS.
I hate being injured. I have always taken my health for granted and it is a hard lesson to have it pointed out to me in such a dramatic way. Thank God it is not cancer or anything of that ilk. But it still sucks. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I do wish it had never happened and that it would go away.
In the meantime, off the the elliptical... again.
Monday, December 8, 2008
In the blink of an eye
It's amazing how quickly things can change-- and how lucky we are that they pretty much don't.
On Friday morning my older daughter and I were driving to the bagel store, basically to kill time after dropping the younger girl off at a before-school activity and before the older one needed to be back for the morning bell. La la la, sitting at the traffic light minding my own business and... SLAM!!!!!! Massively rear-ended. Back of my Honda minivan is a mess, thanks to a rather large Toyota pickup sliding into me, courtesy of a very icy morning.
Everything was and is fine (except the van, which drives but looks pretty bad and I can no longer open the back). And that is just the point. I have minor whiplash but the pills the doc gave me make me feel a lot worse than just stiff. BUt I'm fine. My daughter is stiff and sore too and was pretty shaken up but we are fine.
I am so grateful for our health and all that we have in life. This really drove that home for me (ha ha, get the pun?). A car is stuff, and stuff means nothing. It's the people in our lives that matter, it is our health, how we take care of ourselves and the others around us.
I know this sounds hokey but I have been so overwhelmed with gratitude the last few days I needed to share.
On Friday morning my older daughter and I were driving to the bagel store, basically to kill time after dropping the younger girl off at a before-school activity and before the older one needed to be back for the morning bell. La la la, sitting at the traffic light minding my own business and... SLAM!!!!!! Massively rear-ended. Back of my Honda minivan is a mess, thanks to a rather large Toyota pickup sliding into me, courtesy of a very icy morning.
Everything was and is fine (except the van, which drives but looks pretty bad and I can no longer open the back). And that is just the point. I have minor whiplash but the pills the doc gave me make me feel a lot worse than just stiff. BUt I'm fine. My daughter is stiff and sore too and was pretty shaken up but we are fine.
I am so grateful for our health and all that we have in life. This really drove that home for me (ha ha, get the pun?). A car is stuff, and stuff means nothing. It's the people in our lives that matter, it is our health, how we take care of ourselves and the others around us.
I know this sounds hokey but I have been so overwhelmed with gratitude the last few days I needed to share.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Ch-ch-ch changes
Wow is my life different than it was in October.
I used to have lots of free time. Now I'm not sure I remember what it is.
I used to not know any felons. Now I know lots of felons. And spend time alone with them in close quarters with the door closed on a regular basis.
I used to not know any people who had their kids taken away by the Department of Human Services. Now I lead a support group for them on a weekly basis.
I used to not know anyone who used heroin. Now I need to send a 28 year old woman to detox and inpatient treatment to kick the habit-- or else she will lose her kids, not to mention herself. Although I'm afraid for her that she may already be lost.
They say to count your blessings. I never realized how truly blessed I am. And I am grateful. Really, really and truly grateful. Wouldn't mind more free time... but still grateful.
I used to have lots of free time. Now I'm not sure I remember what it is.
I used to not know any felons. Now I know lots of felons. And spend time alone with them in close quarters with the door closed on a regular basis.
I used to not know any people who had their kids taken away by the Department of Human Services. Now I lead a support group for them on a weekly basis.
I used to not know anyone who used heroin. Now I need to send a 28 year old woman to detox and inpatient treatment to kick the habit-- or else she will lose her kids, not to mention herself. Although I'm afraid for her that she may already be lost.
They say to count your blessings. I never realized how truly blessed I am. And I am grateful. Really, really and truly grateful. Wouldn't mind more free time... but still grateful.
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