I miss shwag

Okay, so this is painfully shallow and especially embarassing given not even a full 24 hours have passed since Yom Kippur. But here goes:

I miss shwag. I used to work in the magazine industry and we would get lots of free stuff. I worked at Folio: (the colon is part of the name), the trade journal for the magazine business so a lot of our shwag was other magazines, which is fine with me because I am a magazine whore. I will read almost anything and, unlike Ms. Wannabe VP, I can and will name names.

Some of the shwag was invites to parties at incredibly hip places that I probably never would have heard of otherwise with great free drinks and awesome musical acts like onetime I saw and even got to meet the Neville Brothers, which was also of course great.

And then there was the... you know... stuff. I like stuff. I get rid of lots of stuff all the time because I don't like stuff hanging around for very long. "Keep it light enough to travel" resonates strongly with me, despite the size of my suburban abode. I still have the illusion that everything I need can be carried on my back-- which is actually probably true.

But what can I say. I am an American. I grew up in and am a product of our consumer culture. And speaking of products, I like them, especially when they are free things I kind of covet but ordinarily would not pay money for. Sparkly makeup comes to mind. So do kitchen gadgets, especially those relating to alchoholic beverages. Yoga gear. Warm running headbands....

Now I am a psychology graduate student and get reverse shwag. Like, could you volunteer to do free depression screenings on Monday at the local health clinic because it is depression awareness day. Noble, yes. Worthy, yes. Shwag, no.

Sigh. I hate to admit this about myself but there it is. I need something new and free. Maybe the expo at the Denver half marathon will help cure this. There is always lots of free athletica there.

Orienteering Maven

I volunteered at my daughter's school this morning as a chaperone on an orienteering trip through a local park. The kids were divided into groups with a few kids and a parent, given a map, a punch card and a time limit.

We had to punch our cards at 10 stations. The kids read the map and we jog/walked most of the time. Lo and behold, our group (which included my daughter) set the record for fastest all-girl group ever. I think I went up a notch or two on the maternal coolness scale. Nice.

Running really is meditative

I always thought running was moving meditation. I didn't really need proof, but now I have it in the form of a quote from Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, "a renowned teacher of Buddhist meditation and 3:05 marathoner" (Runner's World). In the November issue of that magazine, Sakyong that "peace is really a living, active experience, which is embodied in running."

On his own web site, the monk says that "With a body made joyous through movement, the mind is able to relax. With mind/body balance, we can take the power of feeling good and generate compassion... As runners we connect to the earth and reach for sky. By challenging and extending ourselves we become more than who we thought we were. With a relaxed and vast mind we can then extend this sense of peace to the rest of the world."

Yes, yes, yes. This is seconded not only by me but by a recent article in Monitor on Psychology which talked about how repetitive athletic activities, notably running, can induce a relaxation response in the brain. I knew that. Every runner knows that.

Of the 15K Peace Run, which was held at the Shambhala monastery in northern Colorado last July, about which I read in Runner's World and in which I plan to participate next year, Sakyong says that “Running is always such a personal thing, and to be able to run for something greater than oneself was wonderful.”

On that note, in 2 weeks I will be guiding a blind runner in the Denver Half marathon. Because I agree. To be able to run for something greater than oneself is wonderful.

I'm, like, almost famous

A whole bunch of years ago I spent about 6 months living with my aunt and uncle in Anchorage, Alaska. Got a few jobs, made a few friends, had lots of fun.

So today a friend forwards me a New York Times article dated Sept 13th that says: "Ms. Palin appointed ... another classmate, Joe Austerman, to manage the economic development office for $82,908 a year. Mr. Austerman had established an Alaska franchise for Mailboxes Etc."

Okay, so here's the thing. I KNEW THAT GUY!! He lived next door to the friend who sent me the article. And I know it's really him because at the time he managed the local Mailboxes Etc. And guess what? I MADE OUT WITH HIM AT A NEW YEARS EVE PARTY!!!

So perhaps the only good news that could come out of a McCain/Palin victory is that I will be able to tell everyone that I made out with the new Secretary of Commerce.

See? There's always a bright side to everything if you look hard enough.

Matilda please come home

I live with my family at the edge of an open space-style city park at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Just beyond our property line the park has 7.5 miles of dirt trails for walking/ biking/running but other than that there is no landscaping aside from what nature put there. Lots of rocks and bluffs.

Deer wander through our yard so frequently it's boring. I plant my garden with them and the rabbits in mind. At night we regularly hear coyotes howling. One night I saw a bobcat and a few years ago we saw a momma and her baby bear.

And therein lies the problem. We have 3 cats. I say that somewhat hesitantly right now because dear sweet Matlida, the baby of the bunch, didn't come home last night. We all know that this is a risk and try not to let them out after dark. There's not much we can do, though, if they are out already and we are going to bed. So far they have always returned in the morning. We have joked about Tillie's stellar speed-climbing skills being a protective factor against the night creatures. Well, the night creatures may have won out.

This is not good. I love that little kitty, and I really don't want to have to break it to my kids. I think they are starting to get it but are kind of in denial.

Today is Rosh Hashanah, the first day of the Jewish New Year. This isn't really how I had hoped it would start out.

Meme

I am: sore from lifting hard yesterday
I think: most of the time

I know: how little I know

I want: to be satisfied with myself on a more regular basis

I have: a great family—nuclear and extended

I wish: I could grant myself grace

I hate: the word pampered
I miss: the east coast fall season

I fear: alienating those I love

I feel: tired but content
I hear: a fly buzzing at the window

I smell: bread baking

I crave: chocolate chip cookies—not now but that is my general craving

I search: for truth (had to say that, right?)

I wonder: whether the good messages I try to send others will ever sink in for me. I regret: not realizing at the time what great shape I was in a few years ago

I love: my kids, my husband, my sister, my parents, the sunshine.

I ache: for my childrens’ future

I care: usually
I always: care about my family

I am not: tall

I believe: that I am getting better all the time

I dance: like a Deadhead

I sing: mostly on key

I cry: more and more as I get older

I don’t always: love myself

I fight: instead of being patient or taking responsibility

I write: skillfully, without having to try too hard to do so. I win: when I am happy with my performance

I lose: my patience way too often (but less than I used to)

I never: say never

I confuse: the digits in phone numbers fairly regularly

I listen: really well to my clients, less well to my family

I can usually be found: lsot somewhere in my head.

I am scared: to start internship

I need: to do a lot of homework with my daughter this weekend.

I am happy about: beginning to get in better shape, beginning internship and getting on with my life, the state of my relationship with my husband and where I am in my career.

Pass it on.

San Francisco here I come

Tomorrow I leave for a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy level 1 training in Oakland, CA. I guess I am excited. Right now I just feel tired and like I don't want to pack.

Submitted an article version of my dissertation to the International Journal of Eating Disorders but they won't accept it because my n (sample size) was too small-- only 10 people. Oh well. I'll think about where else I can try to submit it. Any ideas?